a whole lifetime...

...is how long it feels like the last week and a half has taken. It's been twelve (more now cause it took me two days to post this) days since my last post and alot has happened. So reasonably, this post may (or may not) be all over the place. To make things easier on myself i'm going to sit here and look at the calendar as I do this.









-Two weeks ago tomorrow, tuesday the seventh. I talked to Erik on the phone. I kept telling him since the wife was coming home he was gonna forget all about me. He told me that WAS NOT going to happen. Haven't talked to him since. So here I am sitting here thinking one of my best friends has completely written me off and i'm getting angry... So I call him and I text him, no response still. I'm kinda upset now. So I call his cousin, he's talked to him. So then yesterday I get on MySpace and from the way things look, his brother died and I feel like an ASS!!! for being mad at him. I still haven't talked to him. I'm kinda worried but I guess he'll call when he feels like talking. P.S. I freakin miss him! ALOT!






-Same day, two weeks ago. I decide to do things for me. I'm tired of being unhappy with the way I look so my diet started. I'm doing incredibly well. I estimate i've lost an average of 8-9 lbs. I have no desire to cheat or quit!!







-The weekend of October 10th. I worked from 1030am til 130 am friday. But got to wear my Phillies T-Shirt so it was ok. (Speaking of the Phils- we're in the World Series!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!) Then I got a late night phone call (those are becoming more and more common) but I just went home and went to bed. Saturday am, up at 630 (ouch, sleepy much) and off to the BVM flea-market. I did ok. Nicole did great and our cupcakes were a hit. Then I went to work and closed once again ( I think Myles has it out for my life cause it was his idea for me to close). Then Prince on Sunday morning and I literally got done my invoice in 2 and a half hours. Someone asked me to work for them at UNO's so I closed again. Oh yeahhh then I closed Monday and Tuesday. Ughhhh. Craziness.







-So we get mid-week to wednesday and I went to dinner with Joey and Bre! I found out that Auntie's baby is a GIRL!!!! So excited. Plus they asked me to be the baby's Godmother. I think I almost cried....







-Thursday I talked to my bitty for the first time in two weeks. We were supposed to chill this weekend. HahHAhahA, jokes.

life chages.

Ok, so i've decided. It's officially time to grow up. I've been doing alot of thinking. And I have really started to put my life into perspective. Make wiser (not so much wise, but wiser than the previous) decisions. So a few things on my To-Do List of growing up:

• Pay all my bills on time. (This most obviously seems like a no-brainer but it involve things like rationalizing and budgeting and controlling my spending=not so easy)
• Get a kick ass winter wardrobe. I'm tired of looking tired. A few key pieces so I actually look professional occasionally.
• Cook at least once a week. Ideally more than that since I love to cook but with the two jobs it's kind of hard. This also includes putting real food in the house not takeout leftovers and UNO's.
• Turn my house into a home. Like with furnishings and such. Not just shit all over still in boxes. So I can enjoy spending time there. Cause, you know, I do live there!
• GET MY ASS BACK IN SCHOOL!
• Stop wasting my time on men who aren't worth my time.
• Try to live healthily. Like a healthy diet and, you know, the gym every once in awhile. And getting sleep at night.
• Giving my social life a weekly budget. Once it's spent, that's it. I mean, surely when I know I will have a busier week I may allow a little extra for that budget. And on the talk of budgets, I would like to have one for lunch. So I don't spend soo much on eating.
• To go with my kick ass new wardrobe, vow to wear heels 3 days week to work. I think i'm just going to stick with the whole "professional" look.
• Go Green. Welllllll slightly green. All this talk of global warming makes me nervous!
• Speak My Mind! Respectfully!

This is just the beginning. I have more but i'm busy and can't think.

That's all for now,

The now attempting to be grown up kristi.

ambitionless?

"so you have no ambitions then, i suppose?"

the question my possibly well meaning grandfather has for me. dinner last night with him and his diamond fingered, vacation taking, new car buying wife. "what," i ask "do you mean by that?" i mean idealisticly i do HAVE ambitions. i would like to be everything. a doctor-lawyer-chef-make-up artist-housewife-good mother-photographer...etc. the list goes on and on and on...but i've most recently found out that life isn't free...

we make it through dinner with few incidents. the step-grandmother as he so lovingly refers to her as, makes comments under her breath and tells me how my brother should already be mechanically inclined enough to know how to drive. i don't need your two cents. save it for your next piece of jewelry or perhaps your next african safari. i occasionally wonder if her complete lack of respect for my grandfather's offspring has to do with her sons. the bad ones. not her perfect daughters or their perfect children. the one's she warns my aunt about. if you don't be careful they'll end up just like T. and S.

after dinner they want to see my apartment so i take them there. a quick guided tour, a few nice words, a hug, a kiss, a quick slip of a bill into my jacket pocket (because he's not allowed to just give his grandchildren money, per the wife) and he's on his way.



**i don't mean to be rude, or sound disrespectful but when i hold no respect for a person its hard not to. i still feel undermined and manipulated. and nevermind the things i heard said from the horses mouth. we're never more than a pothole you get stuck in on the way to somewhere important. so i won't look at you as anything different in my eyes either.